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Captain Beige
Me & Mrs Barthembless
shforsherlock
Sherlock Holmes to Captain Beige,
Sherlock Holmes to Captain Beige,
Put your jumper on, cause oatmeal's all the rage,

Sherlock Holmes to Captain Beige,
I need assistance at this stage,
Grab a taxi and may God's love be with you...

This is Sherlock Holmes to Captain Beige, you've really made the grade,
Anderson wants to know who's jumpers you wear,
Now it's time to leave the taxi if you dare.

This is Captain Beige to Sherlock Holmes, I'm stepping through the door,
And I'm running in a most peculiar way,
And it seems my PTS limp's gone away.
Here am I, running down an alley, running after you.
You're in Monochrome, I'm a little Oatmeal gnome...

Though I've used up more than my nine lives, I'm feeling very calm,
And I think Lestrade can take this case from here.
Tell Sherlock the kettle's on, and I brought beer.
Sherlock Holmes to Captain Beige, we're out Hobnobs, salt and sage,
Can you hear me, Captain Beige? Can you hear me, Captain Beige?
Can you hear me, Captain Beige? Can you...

Heeere am I, sitting on the sofa, ignoring my friend.
I'll go shopping another day, Tesco's shut now anyway.

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